Friday, September 24, 2010

How has it been two years already?

Today marks the two year anniversary since Luna had her second open heart surgery: The Glenn. I have been thinking about this date all month, but I didn’t think that it would hit me the way it has. For instance, Luna’s birthday doesn’t conjure up any sentimental feelings, other than the normal, “I can’t believe my kid is going to be three this year.” And two days after her birthday, March 13th, which marks the date of her first surgery really does nothing for me either. I’m fairly certain when that date passed last year I was oblivious to its meaning.

But for some reason today, September 24th has been hanging on me like a heavy coat. The number ‘24’ will always stick in my head. When Luna’s surgeons were deciding when her second surgery would be, they chose the 24th-partly because Luna would be a full six months-a good place to be age-wise for the operation, and partly due to sheer logistics. My friend Sarah at the time said with complete conviction: “24 is my favorite number, everything is going to be OK.”

And she was right.

Hard to believe that was then, this is now. Her last surgery, the Fontan was end of May-right during Memorial Day weekend. I wonder if I’ll have the same feelings as I do today during next year’s unofficial passage into summer. The vague, contradictory, and all consuming thoughts of:

We’re blessed.
Why us?
That was really tough.
That was already so long ago.
What was I really feeling then?

For now, and very likely forever; open heart surgeries are a thing of Luna’s past. She is just like every other kid now. Regular check-ups, dental appointments, shots, and the occasional virus is what her life is about now. Luna is a spunky, tough, sweet, stubborn, and mischievous little two-and-a-half year old now. And really, who would want it any other way?

Last weekend Luna decides to take off her skirt, her shoes and her fairy wings so she can roll down a nearby hill. (Portsmouth, NH Fairy House Tour).